Plax as a Redskin: So Crazy, it Just Might Definitely Won’t Happen

(By Julie Jacobson - AP)

Lindsay Applebaum here. The Agent known as Steinz is on vacation and left me to Bog-sit. I’ll try to not cause any structural damage.

Plaxico Burress! Earlier this season, you were suspended two weeks for skipping practice. This past weekend, you accidentally shot yourself in the leg at a New York nightclub. You allegedly gave a fake name, Ron Mexico-style, at the hospital. Now your season is over and you could go to prison. What’s the next logical stop on this whirlwind tour of buffoonery?

Why, the Washington Redskins, of course.

From Ryan Wilson of NFL Fanhouse:

I’m not naive enough to think another team won’t give him a chance; Dan Snyder has been looking for a big-play wideout for a couple years now, and I’m sure he’d gladly sign Burress.

Isn’t it a little bit soon for that? Because he could go to prison for at least a little while, right? And does he really deserve another chance?

Whatever. Forget all that, because heeeere come the crazies extremists (10 pages’ worth) on ExtremeSkins.com:

dg28daman: I know this season isn’t even close to being over with, but with the news of Giants ending Plax’s season coming out, he could possibly become available this off season. We have GOT to make a play on this guy. I know a lot of you are going to point to his character concerns, but a player of his talent is too good to pass up.skinfan2k: Honestly i dont care about character. I want to win. If he helps us win, I want him[[ghost]]: I’ve always been a huge fan of his. His playing style is more lethal than TO’s. At least you can jam and double Plax. Ask Al Harris and the Packers if playing against Plaxico physically is a good idea.

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to sign Chad Ocho Cinco. And you know how fans haven’t been happy with quarterback Jason Campbell? Yeah, it would probably make a whole lot of sense to pick up Michael Vick. Clinton Portis is hurting, man. Is OJ Simpson available?

I’m just kidding, of course, at least about Ocho Cinco. And I don’t want to accuse Redskins fans of being anything except sane and rational and perfect in every way, so I won’t. But you know what’s what.

voices.washingtonpost.com